


Afraid To Break This

by RedShirtWriter34567



Category: The Escape Artist, The Politician's Husband, the good fight - Fandom
Genre: Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hand Jobs, Insecurity, M/M, Making Out, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Sexual Frustration, Talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:48:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28354968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedShirtWriter34567/pseuds/RedShirtWriter34567
Summary: Will and Roland are curious about why Aiden never tops or doesn't trust himself alone with Will.
Relationships: Roland Blum/Aiden Hoynes/Will Burton
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	Afraid To Break This

Will laughed as he and Aiden fell back onto the bed. Aiden smiled down at him, his lips slick and red from their kissing. He leaned down and kissed Will again, gently at first until Will deepened it, cupping Aiden’s jaw and brushing his leg up against the bulge in the blond’s jeans. Aiden moaned against their lips, grinding his hips down against Will. The other man moaned as his and Aiden’s tongues met, exploring each other’s mouths. Will started to remove his shirt and Aiden helped, but when Will started to ruck up Aiden’s shirt, still kissing him, Aiden tensed and gently guided Will’s hands away.

“What’s wrong?” Will asked when Aiden pulled out of their kiss. “Are you okay?”

“Y-yeah,” Aiden replied. His eyes gleamed with desire as he roved Will’s bare chest, but also something else. “I-I just...I think I heard Anthony crying.”

Will arched an eyebrow, looping his arms around Aiden’s neck when he tried to pull away. Aiden let himself be pulled closer but kept his hands to himself even though Will could see his fingers twitching, eager to touch his bare skin.

“Anthony’s not here,” Will said. “Roland took him to the store, remember?”

“Oh, right,” Aiden replied, licking his lips. “But I think I still need to…” He trailed off with a low moan when Will cupped him through his jeans, stroking him through the rough denim.

“Come on, Aiden,” Will purred. “Touch me.”

He kissed Aiden’s neck and heard the other man moan, tilting his head back to give Will better access. But when Will started to unbuckle Aiden’s belt and open his jeans, Aiden froze up and panicked. He quickly guided Will’s hands away from his crotch and practically leapt off the bed. He zipped up his jeans and buckled his belt again, his eyes wide and almost fearful. Will sat up on his elbows, confused and a little hurt.

“Aiden?” he asked.

The blond rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m...going to go for a run. I’ll be back later, okay?”

“Okay,” Will replied. “Have fun, I guess.”

Aiden nodded and rushed out of the room like it was on fire. Will sighed and flopped back down onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling. This wasn’t the first time something like this had happened. Even though he, Aiden, and Roland had been a polyamorous couple for a month, Aiden still seemed skittish. He didn’t mind sex when it was all three of them or just him and Roland, but whenever he was alone with Will, he was different. He was very enthusiastic right up until clothes began coming off. Or more specifically, when Will started taking his clothes off. The only other occasion that it had happened was a few weeks ago, when Aiden and Will had been alone downstairs while Roland was out with Anthony at the park.

Will had instigated it and hadn’t expected Aiden to respond but he did, even pulling Will into his lap. Everything was fine until Will started tugging at Aiden’s shirt. Aiden retracted then and retreated to the kitchen to make tea, leaving Will as confused and aroused as he was now. 

‘Maybe he’s not as comfortable with me as I thought,’ Will thought to himself as he laid in bed. 

He sighed resignedly and slowly got up off the bed. He went downstairs just in time to hear the front door close as Aiden left the house. Will felt hurt by Aiden’s distance. What else could he do to make him feel comfortable? Will shook his head and puttered around the house, unsure what to do. It was very rare that he was alone in the house. He eventually went into the kitchen and poured himself a glass of Scotch from the liquor cabinet, then sat down on the couch, staring broodingly into the amber liquid.

Roland came home with Anthony later that afternoon. Will smiled and held the infant while Roland put away the groceries in the kitchen. Some of the items were for Anthony’s first birthday that was coming up soon. Once everything was put away, Anthony yawned in Will’s arms, making soft noises. Will cooed at him, stroking his soft hair. 

“Tired, eh?” he whispered. “Let’s get you to bed, bud.”

Roland smiled at him and Will went upstairs, putting Anthony in his crib, kissing his head gently. He left the room and switched out the light, then returned downstairs to Roland, who was looking around the house.

“Where’s Aiden?” he asked.

“He went out for a jog,” Will replied. 

Roland furrowed his brow. “Didn’t he do that this morning?”

“Yeah,” Will replied, rubbing his neck. “It’s just that...things got a little heated earlier before you came home.”

“You guys got into an argument?” Roland asked, concerned.

“No, not that sort of heated,” Will explained. He blushed. “We were making out in the bedroom and I took off my shirt, but when I tried to take Aiden’s jeans off he sort of...panicked. He got off the bed and ran out of the room like a bat out of Hell.”

“I see,” Roland said.

Will sighed and sat down on the couch, running his fingers through his hair. Roland sat beside him and rubbed his back.

“What am I doing wrong?” Will asked. “Aiden is fine when it’s all three of us or when it’s you and him, but whenever we’re together he acts like he's afraid of me.”

“I don’t think it’s you, Precious,” Roland said soothingly. “There’s been times when he’s done that with me too.”

“Really?” Will looked up from the floor.

“Yeah,” Roland agreed. “I love making love to Aiden, being the dominant one but I know he’d like to be on top too sometimes. He never has topped with me but we got close once. He pinned me to the bed but then suddenly he froze up and rolled off of me. He flinched when I tried to touch him, then went downstairs and didn’t come to bed until after I’d fallen asleep. I never brought it up again because he clammed up each time I did.”

“Why does he do that, do you think?” Will asked. 

Roland stroked his jaw thoughtfully. “I can only think of one reason but I think it might be better if you hear it from him.”

“Okay,” Will agreed.

Aiden didn’t come home until later that evening. He came into the house and quietly shut the door, running his fingers through his sweat-soaked hair. The house was quiet and he was hoping that meant Roland and Will had gone to bed. Aiden unzipped his hoodie and peeled off his sweaty tank top as well, carrying them to the laundry room and tossing them into the washing machine, along with his shorts and his boxers. He went into the bathroom and took a long, hot shower, cleaning the sweat from his skin and easing the ache in his muscles. But he couldn’t wash away the guilt he felt toward Will.

Aiden sighed, resting his head on the warm tile wall of the shower. He wanted to sleep with Will even when it was just the two of them but every time they tried he got so scared. He didn’t trust himself. He didn’t even trust himself with Roland, always letting the older man take control in their sex life. Aiden closed his eyes and felt his cock twitch at the thought of making love to Will, to Roland, but also felt a corrosive fear coil in his gut at the same time. Aiden lingered in the shower for a long time until his fingers pruned. He switched off the water and stepped out of the shower, wrapping himself up in his robe and grabbing another towel for his hair, wiping a hand across the fogged-up mirror as he dried it.

He left the bathroom and slowly went upstairs. He dipped into Anthony’s nursery and smiled down at the sleeping infant, leaning down to kiss his head. He walked toward the bedroom but froze just outside the door. The light was still on, a thin strip glowing beneath the closed door. He could hear Roland and Will talking quietly to each other. Aiden swallowed a little louder than he meant to, his fingertips brushing the doorknob.

“Aiden?” Roland asked. “Are you home, love?”

Aiden took a deep breath and opened the door. Will and Roland were sitting on the bed, still fully dressed. Aiden shut the door behind him and entered the room, joining them on the bed. 

“Are you okay, love?” Will asked quietly, reaching for Aiden’s hand.

“Yeah,” Aiden answered. “I’m fine now.” He took Will’s hand. “I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings earlier.”

“It’s okay,” Will replied, but Aiden shook his head.

“No, it’s not,” he said. “It’s not okay how I’ve been treating you, Will. And it’s not you.” He slowly pulled his hand away from Will’s. “It’s me.”

“What do you mean?” Will asked, confused as he arched an eyebrow.

Aiden licked his lips and wrung his hands, glancing at Roland, who nodded encouragingly. Will looked back at Aiden and took his hand again, interlacing their fingers. Aiden seemed to relax and took one of Roland’s hands as well, taking a deep breath.

“I love you both,” Aiden began. “So much. Probably more than I loved Freya. Things between us were great until our dynamic changed.”

Will raised his eyebrows. Aiden rolled his shoulders a little and sighed.

“When Freya started doing better than me in our respective careers, it made me angry,” he explained. “She was the one people respected and I was in her shadow. I hated it. One night when we were in bed, I...forced myself on her.” Aiden’s voice cracked. “I-I raped her. Left bruises on her wrists. She told me to stop but I didn’t.” Tears gleamed in his eyes. “Afterward I felt so disgusted with myself.”

Aiden sobbed and let himself be pulled into an embrace between Roland and Will. Roland stroked his hair while Will rubbed his back gently in slow circles. Aiden cried into them for a few minutes before he pulled away, wiping his eyes.

“That’s why I’m afraid to top with either of you,” he confessed. “I’m terrified that I could do that, lose control and hurt one of you. I’d never be able to live with myself if I did that.” He wiped his nose with the towel still draped over his shoulders. “I’m afraid to break this, that I could shatter what we have together.”

“I know you regret that, love,” Roland told his husband, stroking Aiden’s cheek. “You made a mistake but that doesn’t make you a bad person. You wouldn’t feel remorse if you were.”

“Roland is right,” Will agreed. “I know you’d never hurt us.”

He reached over and put his hand on Aiden’s shoulder, squeezing it lightly. Aiden took his hand and squeezed back, then kissed the back of it. They all shared a smile and a kiss before Roland’s phone suddenly rang. He sighed as he pulled it from his pocket.

“Damn it, Gary needs me back at the office,” he muttered. “I never should’ve gotten promoted.”

Aiden and Will both laughed. Roland smiled as he kissed them both, his blue eyes dancing with a bit of mischief.

“I’ll see you both in the morning,” he said. “Goodnight. I love you both.”

Roland left and Will and Aiden were alone. Aiden wiped his eyes and nose again, sniffling a little.

“Thank you for telling me that,” Will said. “I know that was probably hard for you.”

“Thanks for listening,” Aiden replied. “I’m still not sure I trust myself yet but it feels good to admit why I was scared.” He cupped Will’s cheek in his palm. “I never want you to think I’m not attracted to you, Will.”

Will smiled and leaned forward for a kiss. Aiden hummed as he kissed Will back, nipping at his bottom lip. Will purred and slipped the towel off Aiden’s shoulders. Aiden moved to sit on his knees and Will laid on his back, cupping the back of Aiden’s head with one hand while the other untied the belt of his robe. Aiden let the garment fall to the floor, leaving him naked, moaning at the feel of Will’s clothes against his bare skin.

“We can go slow,” Will murmured against their lips. “As slow as you need.”

“Okay,” Aiden replied, brushing their noses together. “Thank you, Will.”

They kissed and Aiden helped Will remove his clothes slowly. Once both men were naked they kept kissing, grinding against each other. Aiden used some lubricant and slicked up his hand, then took both his and Will’s erections in hand, stroking them together in time with the rocking of their hips, kissing passionately. They came together, hot and warm and sticky in Aiden’s hand. They held still for a moment, panting, and Aiden kissed Will gently, using the towel to clean his hand and Will’s skin. Will rolled over onto his side and Aiden faced him, pulling the blanket over them.

“I love you, Will,” Aiden whispered, stroking his cheek. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Will replied. “I love you too, Aiden.”

They fell asleep facing each other, Aiden’s arm draped across Will’s hip while his head rested in the crook of the other man’s arm. When Roland returned and joined them in bed later that evening, he smiled at them as he laid down on Aiden’s other side, kissing the nape of his neck. Aiden didn’t mind being in the middle some nights. It made him feel protected and loved by both his husband and their lover.


End file.
